The Mommy Comparisons

We've all been there. Comparing ourselves to others.. whether it's about our clothes or if we have the "it" bag of the season, or perhaps it was our houses or our jobs. If you're a blogger I'm sure you've been through the number-of-followers comparison game at some point. 

And now that I've entered motherhood, a whole new comparison begins. Is my child reaching her milestones at the same time as her child? Is my child wearing the trendiest new kids clothes out there (silly, but true)? Am I getting dressed in cute clothes and putting on a full face of makeup with my hair perfectly done AND taking my child out in public so that she gets her daily dose of fresh air and worldly stimulation like that mom is? Is my child's party going to be as great as they are on Pinterest!? Seriously, I've decided that Pinterest is both awesome and evil all at the same time.


It's natural. We compare ourselves to others. So many moms seem to have it all. The perfect husband, the perfect home, the perfect outfit, the perfect hair that seems to fall perfectly on her perfectly powdered face, and the perfect child that never cries and sleeps through the night. New mommy bloggers especially fascinate me. How they can find time to get dressed, look amazing, take photos, blog, and care for a newborn is beyond me. Seriously, how do these women do it? 

Well, I don't have the answer but I know for sure that I don't do it. And I'm ok with it. Do I wear sweatpants more often than I'd like to admit? Yes. Do I go a day too long without washing my hair sometimes? Yes. Do I even remember how to put on makeup?? Hardly. Does my baby sleep through the night? Not even close. But it's ok.

When little girl and I go out to run errands or do some shopping, it's a miracle we both even make it out by the time I wanted. Most of the time, my shirt either has drool, baby food, or milk mushed in somewhere... my hair has been pulled in all directions by a freakishly strong baby... and I probably only put mascara on one eye because I got distracted at some point and then forgot. 

And you know what? I'm ok with that. I pat myself on the back for even making it out into the world. I pat myself on the back that my baby got fed and dressed. I pat myself on the back that my baby is happy and healthy. With my disheveled hair and half made up face, I look at her and she gives me the biggest smile and I realize, I'm doing just fine.


60 comments:

Rachelle (http://pinksole.com/) said...

how good you're doing should only be measured by how happy your baby is. Hannah has a huge smile on her face so that's all that matters. You are doing an amazing job xoxo

xo
PinkSole

Sarah said...

Exactly! But sometimes it's just too hard not to. I have no idea how other mom's do it, maybe they fake it till they make it? haha...I'll try to do the same, hehe. Hannah is just too cute.

Lady parisienne said...

you look very nice, I hope you are doing fine :)

Emmylou said...

Aaaah...the mommy comparisons. I don't think we'll ever escape it. I get from family members all the time! "Oh...my friends' kids are doing a billion activities and her house is super clean."
Whatevs, I say:D
Great post, Yi-chia.

Happiness at Mid Life said...

I think there's a lot of pressure of doing it everything and being a super mom. Glad you are not feeling the pressure and enjoying your time focusing on the time with your precious little one. You look pretty no matter if you are in sweats or dirty hair.

P.S,. I hope you will join my weekly TBT Fashion link up on Thursday.

Alice
www.happinessatmidlife.com

Darcy said...

I have heard a lot lately about Pinterest making people feel like they are not doing enough. Every lunch and dinner looks so glamorous on Pinterest... am I a bad fiance because last night I cooked a frozen pizza?! It is hard not to get caught up in all that is perfect online, but I am trying to realize that people's online life is often very different than their real life : ).
www.amemoryofus.com

Niki {Glossy Blonde} said...

At almost 30 weeks pregnant I barely feel like getting dressed and making myself pretty, so I can't even imagine that I will want to after baby is born! I'm glad you're ok with who you are and you ARE doing great from what I can see!! Not comparing is tough, but we really will be happier if we can avoid it!

RedTagChicLosAngeles said...

Awwwww you are doing just GREAT Yichia - more power!!!

Rebecca
www.redtagchiclosangeles.com

Amy Fashion Blog said...

I say don't worry about the other and do what you do best.

Skylette from Sequins & Stilettos said...

I agree with Rachelle - as long as little Hannah is happy and healthy that is all you need to worry about. Don't even get me started on Pinterest - it's a love/hate relationship. ;)

Sequins&Stilettos


nancy @ adore to adorn said...

your post mimics what I think about when I think of having child(ren). I know I play the comparison game with myself so I can only imagine I will do this with my own child(ren). As you said, it's difficult not to do that. It's human nature I suppose. Survivalist even? But, I just hope we can all be supportive. Perhaps some of the reason comes from being competitive and making sure we all "keep up" with the best of them but, I sure hope we don't lose the positive energy that's out there, too
=) thanks for sharing your thoughts!

xo,
nancy

http://www.adoretoadorn.com

Ricademus said...

You're approaching this the best way possible. Sure, you would win most comparisons, but that's not what it's about. Kudos!

PS - In answer to the frozen pizza lady, it depends what brand she used! :P

Adeola Naomi Aderemi said...

The fact that Hannah is healthy and happy is all that should matter because that shows your are doing all you can!

Frannie Pantz said...

Good for you!!!! I totally know how you feel. I am absolutely guilty of it and I think every mother is. Particularly, for me, it is the baby weight issue--"she had her baby at the same time I did and she is already skinnier than before!" But we can't do that. And we shouldn't do that. Because our bodies, our babies and our families are the most important thing. You're handling it perfectly and in 10 years your baby won't remember your makeup or your outfit--they will remember the fun things they did with mom. And that's the most precious thing.

MELODY JACOBS said...

aww such a cute baby
http://melodyjacob1.blogspot.com/

Rachel Lynne said...

Just based on other societal pressures, I can't imagine what that can feel like once you have a child. It will probably be very hard to not compare your parenting to another person's or where your child is to another child. All you can do is do your best and enjoy your time together! I'm sure you are doing everything you can to make your daughter's life the best it can be!

Elle said...


What a great topic! You actually are one of those sweetie, who looks perfect, who lost their baby fat, and whose hair is perfectly in place. eyes bright. The MOST adorable. I am so glad to know that you dont always look like that.
I do remember ( 20+!) years ago, that I considered it a good day if I had time to wash my hair.
I fondly remember my wardrobe back then, much as you describe, fleece with baby vomit , or milk or green beans pureed.
I have always worn a ponytail, so that helped,
I rarely stepped into my well appointed closet...
just tossed something one from a drawer, and was as happy as can be, to be a MOM!
YOu are so gorgeous, though, in ANY outfit.
Thanks for sharing!!
XX, Elle

Sheila said...

Awww she's too cute!!


xo - Sheila
www.sheislovelyblog.com

Kathleen said...

Great post! We've definitely all been there before. But the important thing is that you both are happy!
<3
katsfashionfix.blogspot.com

two birds said...

Yes! It is so hard not to compare ourselves to others sometimes, but it is really so silly. Everyone has their thing. Even that mom at the park that seems to have it all together has her issues and is probably comparing herself to you! Comparison is the thief of joy. As long as you and you sweet girl and your family are happy and healthy, you are doing an amazing job! You are an awesome mom, makeup or not! xoxo.

Julie Khuu | Haute Khuuture said...

Oh mama,your style will ring through when you least expect it! All that matters is mommy and baby bonding time...who knows, she may get your fashion sense down by next month then y'all can match for daytime looks! Awww can't wait to see your mommy style evolve!

Thank you visiting, hope to see you back sweets!

Xo- Julie
Peace. Love. LOL!

Haute Khuuture Blog

Adrian said...

I love this! Thanks for sharing.

Jessica said...

You both always look beautiful on here. I love her in that little pink dress! Adorable!

Jessica @ Sunny Days and Starry Nights

Lyosha Varezhkina said...

I don't believe in those miracle mommies. May be they are from different planet? You are not and it's ok. What is really important is how you feel about it.
Have a great week

P.S. your baby look so charming!

Lyosha
Inside and Outside Blog

sugarlens said...

As long as your baby girl is happy and healthy, you are doing all the right things. She's sooooo cute.

Pooja Mittal said...

such a well written post , do get what u are tryig to say and pintrest , ahh dont get me started
u know what u dont need to deck up and put on makeup , being such a dedicated mother makes you so beautiful :)
keep in touch
www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com
www.indianbeautydiary.com

Anita said...

lovely blog :)
http://saltskinned.blogspot.com

Sarah Hartley said...

I compare myself and Henry more times than I'd like to admit. If it weren't for working full time, I'd never look pulled together! Half the time I go to work I'm not even certain of what I'm doing because I'm so tired. But damn, as soon as that boy grins at me I feel like everything I'm doing is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
www.sarahhartley.net

Fabrizia Spinelli said...

I decided to stop comparing me and Camilla to other moms and daughters, because I got that every baby is different..and every mom too!
There was a period very difficult to me, I woke up every day and in just a second it was night and I didn't understand were the whole day was gone.. but now things are different, Camilla is growing up and she turns one today, and I have time for me and for my blog again!
Fabrizia – Cosa Mi Metto???

Elle Sees said...

i always thought moms would be the biggest support of other moms, but the comparing and judging is just horrible! i'm not a mom, but as a nanny, i def observe it. you do you!!

lisacng @ expandng.com said...

I agree, Pinterest and social media can be evils, showing off people's picture-perfect skills and lives. I just remember that it's a snippet and they probably deal with the same (or worse) issues as me. You look great and are doing great, Yi-chia! That little girl of yours is so happy you are present in her life instead of worrying about what others think or if they judge. Teach her that same self-confidence.

Because Shanna Said So said...

Amen, sister!! The comparison game NEVER ends...sad, but true. We all do it regardless of our season in life. We are women! Ha! I am so proud of you for realizing that you are a wonderful mom. Baby H doesn't know you only have mascara on one eye...all she knows is that you are her mom now and forever! That's what matters most! xoxo

Natalia | Fashioned by Love said...

So true! I think it really is a woman's thing to compare ourselves. And I am with you about Pinterest... x

Susannah said...

Yes, dear girl, you ARE doing just fine!

schoolgatestyle said...

Love your honesty! Just keep doing what you're doing...instinct is the best approach! Ax

Anouka said...

She looks so cute! Yes, we can spend endless times comparing ourselves to others. At the end of the day, what matters is that we are happy with ourselves.

Jessica Cai said...

Loved reading through your post! I'm sure mommy bloggers wear sweats and are messy at home too! You always look flawless and your baby girl looks delightfully happy--you're such an inspiration :)

StylizedLuxe
Instagram

xo Jess

Shopping Lady said...

We all do comparisons with others, it's normal, sometimes it helps us to grow up. You base all on the smile of your wonderful baby and I think that this makes you the best mother which she can have :)!

My last post: Say goodbye to bags and dark circles

SHOPPING GIRLS

Rabea Schulte said...

Great Post! Follow each other on GFC, Google+ and Bloglovin? If yes, follow me and i follow back as soon as i see it. Let me know with a comment on my Blog

Keep in Touch xx Rabea from germany
http://rabeasbeautytipps.blogspot.de/

jo said...

There's something so incredible about being a mom. I was told that no one should teach you about parenting. Your child is really a reflection of you! Kudos for being a great mom, Yi-Chia!

xo Jo

http://www.whiterosesandcoffee.com

Lulu Soler said...

Hey there! Yes it's easy to get caught up in the comparison contest no matter what stage you are in life. I still try to keep myself in check. The first year of babyhood is the hardest and soon you'll be a pro and not even remember what the craziness was like. :) Not that you're asking, but my advice is not to get stuck in mommyhood. It's great, but it should not be your life. They will grow up, move out, move on. You will always be you. XO You look beautiful and your babydoll is well, just that, a doll!
XO

Lulu
simplylulustyle.com

Jamie said...

yes, you are doing fabulous!!! I wish mommys wouldn't compare so much and stick together :)

xxo
Jamie
www.candystilettos.com

Kelly said...

I think you are super mom and she is beautiful!

xx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

footnotes and finds said...

this is such a honest post, i love it! thanks for sharing!

www.footnotesandfinds.com

Sam Cole said...

You are doing good and a super mom. I think all moms goes through the same and tried to compared themselves to others. It is tough for me when my son was little but as he gets older it gets easier. Baby girl is healthy, happy and growing up prettier so that's all it matters and it is all because of you and your hubby.

xo
Sam
http://fabulouspetite.blogspot.com

Mica T said...

A really good post! :)

it can be so hard to compare ourselves to others. But we don't see what goes on behind the scenes. When people say it's amazing that I can still blog with a little baby, I just laugh and say that they haven't seen the mess my house is in! But as you said, as long as baby is happy, that's the only thing that matters :)

Away From The Blue

Kacie Ellis said...

You are amazing and you are doing a great job at everything! I'm not a mom but my mom teaches child development and love & logic and she is always saying how kids develop at different ages and even if you're child is a late walker or whatever, it doesn't determine anything about the rest of their lives. Just loving your baby is the best thing you can do! She is so adorable and looks so happy! And you are looking gorgeous and happy too!

http://www.kaciesklosetblog.com/

s said...

i miss u. sweetie- reading ur post was a breath of fresh air. its ironic too- when I first "met " you- thats what i was goign through. wearing the same outfit comparing myself... but out the door with it after a point you DONT CARE. that little angel is the center of your universe and even so you know taht you want to be you too. Being a fashion blogger created the outlet i needed to FEEL alive. I'm so glad i entered this community because my life changes seriously every month. wait every week. Sometimes i blog 4 times sa month. Sometimes 7 times a month. sometimes only once a month. I'm not consciously doing anything- family always comes first and whatever is going on with the girls or my fam, my blog comes second always. I loved this post and you look ridiculously amazing u modest mama. we serioulsy gotta catch up soon. xoxoxoxo
xO!
www.thehautecookie.com

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Georgia said...

I remember I used to fall in the same trap when my twins had the same age of your beautiful girl-Then watching them growing at a different pace I realised that there is no perfect time for any milestones... babies are unique and each one has a different timing ..and that makes our life even more interesting!
www.mygenerouslife.blogspot.com

Lauren {Fizz and Frosting} said...

I am so happy I read this post today. Sweats are way more common around my house than I'd like to admit. And brushing my hair and washing my face some mornings is an accomplishment!

Simply Evani said...

If that picture is your version of the struggles of mommyhood, I hope I get as lucky as you! :) No but seriously, I can't imagine not playing the comparison game but I'm glad you're enjoy being a new mom and who needs mascara on both eyes anyways? You look fab and she is adorable.

Lindsay Truax said...

Just got through my first mommy year! Cute pictures! You look great!

pinkandnavystripes.com

Jo Abiog said...

You are doing more than just fine, believe me! You both look absolutely stunning! Pretty Mommy and your "mini me".

Fashion | Travel | Food
Jo from http://www.Styleat30.com
https://www.facebook.com/StyleAt30

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

It is so hard not to compare ourselves. I love your perspective on this topic!

Rakhshanda Rizvi said...

I agree with you, Pinterest and social media can be evils, showing off people's picture-perfect skills and lives. Anyways, you are looking so cute and your baby...OMG, she looks soooooooooo pretty and cute! Love, love her smile. Kisses <3

http://rakhshanda-chamberofbeauty.blogspot.in/

Hena Tayeb said...

oh yes.. i have been there and am still there with another baby. and the moment we learn to be ok with it the more we are able to enjoy our motherhood.

oomph. said...

to compare your child to anyone else's will only put unnecessary worry and stress on yourself. every child grows and reaches milestones at their own pace...there is no right or wrong. sounds like you are doing just fine!!

[oomph.]
3D Popup Greeting Cards GIVEAWAY

Elegance and Mommyhood said...

What a beautiful, heartfelt and raw post. I felt your genuine mom concerns coming through and seriously been there - done that. I still am. It is in many ways harder after they start walking until they are about 2.5 years old. They are always super active and curious and you cannot turn your eyes away for a minute. But you are doing just fine Yi-Chia. I can tell that Hanna is happy, healthy and being well taken care of and loving her mamma. I agree Pinterest is both lovely and at the same time I hate it, because I doubt anyone's life is perfect.

I loved reading this and catching up with you and Hannah's updates as well. May she continue to grow healthy, strong and beautiful!

Ginny MyNewFavoriteOutfit said...

Comparison never gets anyone anywhere. I love your authenticity, I think your reality is more like most peoples, make up and showeres are overrated when you have a baby.

Jennifer of JennySue Makeup said...

freakishly strong baby, that made me laugh out loud bc I totally get that strength!! it's their grip that is so amazing! great points and I feel you in every point you made. when it comes to hair washing and having kids, I just thank God for dry shampoo...

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